12 months on since we completed the set

On Saturday my little boy turns one.

If he’d gone full term we’d actually be celebrating this milestone next month, but like his big sister he was too impatient to wait around in mum’s tummy.

In fact, sibling rivalry had already kicked in with my son arriving one day earlier than the girl – four weeks and two days premature to be precise.

Me and my wife joke that they were impatient but the reality is the placenta ruptured on both occasions so their early arrivals were unavoidable.

I will save the story of the two births for future reading so, for now, back to the boy.

When we found out Em was pregnant I was overjoyed. 

Initially we’d decided to remain a family of three, with the main reason, I believe, being the fear of how we would cope with our daughter’s seizures as well as another child.

Thankfully, her episodes fast became a distant (and very bad) memory.

I was convinced we were having a girl, perhaps I could only picture two daughters because my life up to that point had revolved around Cordy.

When the 20-week scan revealed it was a boy I was delighted. 

That feeling wouldn’t have been different had it been another girl, but in my head it was like we were completing a set. One of each. Best (or worst) of both worlds!

As the weeks began to pass and his impending arrival drew closer, I started to worry about how I’d feel.

What if I can’t love him like I love Cordy? She was my first born. How can I find extra love for a new baby?

What if Cordy feels less loved? What if she feels like she’s been replaced and is no longer daddy’s little girl?

It didn’t help when people would say: “You must be made up to have a boy to take the football” or “all dad’s want a boy don’t they?”.

I didn’t feel that way. I never have. Oh, and for the record it’s my daughter that comes the match with me.

When Davie arrived, all 5lbs 6oz of him, those worries soon vanished.

There is enough love to go around after all.

In fact me and my daughter spent even more time together initially as mum catered for the boy’s needs with breast milk on tap – that’s how he saw it anyway!

We quickly got into a way of life that worked for the four of us.

After six months my wife returned to work and I took over the reins full time.

It’s been a wonderful experience since then to nurture the boy, get him into a routine that allows him to thrive, and to see him grow and develop into a happy toddler.

He really has enhanced our lives immeasurably, to the point where it doesn’t feel like it has been anything other than the four of us.

So happy first birthday son, and thank you for completing our little family.

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22 thoughts on “12 months on since we completed the set”

  1. This is lovely, happy birthday little man! Scary how fast it comes round isn’t it! I had the same worries as you with whether our older child would feel less loved/if we could love another as much etc. But somehow it just falls into place doesn’t it?
    Really enjoyed reading this! -Becky x


  2. I love the part about there being enough love to go around. Our little girl is 14 months old and I have been thinking about the possibility of having a second but similar fears to what you’ve described pop into my mind. What if Peachy feels replaced? What if I don’t love my second the same way that I love Peachy? She is my universe. There can’t be two universes. Can there? Maybe there can be. Your post hasn’t answered all the questions and alleviated all the doubts but reading about your experience gives me hope that it would work out and that we could be a happy family of 4. #fortheloveofBLOG

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad it’s been of some help. It’s a big decision and it’s not all plain sailing but I’m so happy we’ve got our family of four and perhaps more importantly in the future my children have each other for love and support.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Aw, happy birthday little man, and what a cutie he is too!
    Mr C had the same worries about this when we found out we were having a second (we had also planned on remaining three), but 7 months on it turns out there’s plenty of room for everyone! Very cool to read this from a Dad’s point of view too. #fortheloveofBLOG

    Liked by 1 person

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