Unlike Bob Geldof I quite like Mondays.
I like them a lot now I don’t have to endure the dreaded nursery drop-off followed by a rage-filled morning commute.
Mondays are full of fun, full of laughs and full of the joys that being a stay at home dad brings, in the main.
Here’s how today panned out for me, the princess and the boy wonder…
It was the little fella who was up first, his ‘get out of bed and pick me up’ chatter coming through loud and clear on the baby monitor in between the sound of my wife’s phone alarm after each snooze button strike. Incidentally, like Bob, she’s not a fan of Mondays either.
After being greeted by the warmth of my boy’s cheeky smile I headed downstairs with him to make up his morning bottle.
This provides the perfect Twitter timeline scrolling, email deleting and Fitbit app assessing time before the rest of the clan surfaces.
Bottle gulped in yet another record time and the wife’s snooze button is still proving popular as I hear Arctic Monkeys belting out from upstairs.
The princess is chatting away in her bed which she never leaves until we’re awake and open her door. What a good girl eh? Yeah, well we’ve got a whole day to go yet.
A bowl of Coco Pops and a strawberry milkshake later, the wife has finally worn out the snooze button and is heading downstairs.
She tucks into breakfast next to the girl, while I serve up porridge mixed with banana for the boy. “Porridge and banana for a change eh dad? You maverick” the poor lad must be thinking.
Surely it’s time for dad to eat now? No, sorry pal. The cars are frosted over and mum’s already late. Coat on over my PJs and off I depart with the scraper in hand.
I said earlier that Mondays are fun and while it might not seem that way so far, we’ve got soft play to come at 10am so fear not.
The princess is in charge of the tunes and for a nice change, I’m being sarcastic, she’s opted for the Disney album that’s made the CD player its home since Christmas.
She demands two songs from the film Tangled are played on repeat for the 20-minute drive. She really is a creature of habit.
Today’s soft play adventure is particularly nice as one of my younger sisters is joining us, which means the princess has a partner in crime. She truly makes the most of this and her auntie is in need of a well earned refreshment after hurtling down the big slide for the 37th time in a row.
Soft play is not only great for freeing your inner child for a couple of hours, it helps tire out your pre-schooler with minimum effort – well, aside from going up and down that slide – and the boy loves going for an explore in what must seem like a mansion-sized crèche compared to our living room.
It’s off to nanny’s house next, where we all get fed and watered before the princess calls time on mine and the boy’s stay.
She doesn’t mince her words: “I want you and Davie to go home now”.
Monday afternoons are exclusive to the princess and her nanny and grandad you see. It gives me time to focus my attention on the boy while the princess has quality time with her grandparents.
By some minor miracle, the boy wants to go straight to sleep when we return home so dad cracks on with the chores and bangs on his tunes – at last I’m free from Disney princess top 40.
I wake the boy up before 4pm to make sure he’ll go to bed later (funny I say that, I’m currently typing this one handed on my phone while trying in vain to rock him off to sleep).
Then it’s time to cook dinner for him and the returning mum and princess, who she collects on her way home from work.
More record eating times are broken, from the adults anyway, and then it’s bath and bed hour where we repeat the same fight I endured this morning, just with a tag team partner and a flooded bathroom thrown in.
With the kids fast asleep, eventually, it’s time for dad to re-enter the adult world and play some five a side football with the lads.